Intro to Hiding

Who names a blog "The Closet Depressed?" 

Seriously?

Well, I do.

What exactly does that mean? To be honest, I have no idea. When I think of the idea of a "closet," I think of the place I used to hide when my parents used to fight. I moved a lot, so I've been exposed to several types of closets. My favorite closet was in the Poconos in our first actual house. When I used to be organized, my clothes used to hang nicely on the rack, organized from sweaters to shirts, jeans to regular pants. The floor of the closet had a couple of my shoes, but there was still enough room to go inside, pull my legs into my chest, and cover my ears while my parents screamed until their vocal chords temporarily broke.

So, back to the title of this blog, "The Closet Depressed..." yeah, it definitely is quite on the dark side. What led me to this? Truthfully, I am a person who was diagnosed with depression when I was 19, which a lot of people don't know about me. The bouts my parents had with one another wasn't the only thing to drive me to this point, but it could have definitely prevented it. Depression isn't just some made-up disorder so people have an excuse to be sad and upset all the time. It's a serious ailment, and I only know it because I live with it daily. What's worse is that since I have no kind of medical insurance, I have no medication to keep me balanced, (which I probably don't need, but who knows how far gone I really am since it's been almost 9 years since my initial diagnosis). 

SO, you're probably wondering why I'm even attempting to write this blog. Well, there's quite a few reasons: Raise awareness, talk about how it affects others I know who have it, etc. My main reason is to understand myself better. 

See, sometimes when I write, I tend to word vomit, which is a nice way of saying that I write a million ideas on a piece of work, and it's incoherent, and sounds sloppy and I sound insane, but upon reading back what I've written, I start to get a better idea of what I'm trying to convey. This blog is my attempt to discover what makes me the way that I am, and to fix it before it makes me worse.

So, is it safe for me to come out of my depressed closet now?

God, I hope so.

Thanks for reading.

-T